DOC OCK ARMS NO MORE

DOC OCK ARMS NO MORE

NEW YORK, NY (Daily Bugle) -- In a press statement released early this morning, SHIELD announced that the tentacled apparatus used by Dr. Otto Octavius, better known as Doctor Octopus, has been destroyed by executive order of the President.

Octavius, whose criminal career has threatened the lives of millions, was most recently involved in the forceful seizure of Ryker's Island and a three-week-long hostage situation.

"It's not like this man's rights were violated," said an unnamed White House source. "He will still receive a trial commiserate with his current status. What we're talking about here is simply a piece of dangerous equipment. Nothing more."

Michael Gerdes, Dr. Octavius's lawyer, responded more vocally. "Even if my client is guilty of /some/ of the crimes he's accused of, wouldn't it be a greater crime to erode the rights of an American citizen? The last time I checked, this wasn't a communist state, and property rights were respected. What'll be confiscated next? The right to a fair trial? Oh, that's right. He's been declared an enemy combatant. So much for that."

(A poll underneath the article asks, "Was it right to destroy Doc Ock's arms?" According to the colorful bar graph -- in which the bars are drawn to resemble Ock's tentacles, claws and all -- 84% say "Yes," 3% are "Undecided," 2% say "No," and 11% sy, "They should have done the same thing to Ock.")